My family is officially falling apart seeing as i am no longer welcome into my grandmas house. and my dad is not sharing christmas with me and my brother. we have no money for presents this year because its all going to RENT and BILLS plus its even worse because daddy isnt helping at ALL!!!!im spending christmas with my best friend alissa and new years with her and my mom didnt care one bit. mostly because she knows what we are going though, she wants me to have a good christmas and knows i will with alissa but i dont know. i just saw alissas family and was opening presents with them, eating dinner with them at a full long table and i could..just...FEEL the love in the house it was soo overwhelming that i couldnt hold back my tears. knowing that my family will never be quite like that again. not happy but full and loving. just that feeling that you know you have it all not by the presents on that day but the people you spend it with. i loved that feeling.
and now i don't have it, it may seem like i do and my family may say "Amanda, your family loves you" but its all about do i feel it. and i don't anymore.
